Reviews by djprojexion

Alright, dammit. I'm stepping up to the plate and taking one for the team. The team is made up of the 13 year olds that live in all of us, no matter how old we get. And Maximum Overdrive is the kind of movie tailor made for adolescent males to marvel at whilst chugging caffeine laced sodas and overindulging in sugary junk food. It's a midnight movie masterpiece, a mid-80s drive-in classic. Stephen King should be proud of it, some of the best movies were made by coked-out directors! I mean the movie is called MAXIMUM F'IN OVERDRIVE!!! Apropos, it's got Maximum Overkill. It's got Maximum Overacting. And it's got Maximum Overtures (care of AC/DC!)

It is so insanely over the top and endlessly bloody that you would have sworn it was made by the Italians. This movie really has it all, I mean it starts off with an ATM machine calling a guy an asshole (Stephen King's cameo), then you have a soda machine taking out an entire little league team, a kid gets run over by a steam roller, people getting smacked in the face with the front end of a big rig, machine gun deaths that rival Scarface and The Wild Bunch, the list goes on.

The level of extremes even carries over to the cast, Pat Hingle is pissed off at everybody, Emilio Estevez is pissed off at the world, Laura Harrington's hair gets progressively bigger and bigger, and Yeardley Smith's voice can shatter glass and make dog's ears bleed. They make up the motley crew of survivors, doing whatever they can to avoid the machines' deadly warpath. The camaraderie among them being trapped indoors has since been seen in everything from Tremors to The Walking Dead.

Maximum Overdrive needs to be celebrated and appreciated for what it is, pure B-movie popcorn fun. It also needs to be mentioned that it's beautifully shot with great production values. The hard rock AC/DC soundtrack also adds to the experience. So sit back, tune into your 13 year old self, and enjoy a wacky, blood drenched Action/Sci-Fi extravaganza!

"It's the MOTHER LOOOOODE!!!" Hey, want to see a maniac Charlton Heston in dual roles mumbling his way through a half ass Irish accent? Want to see a young, statuesque Kim Basinger scream and scream some more? Want to see Nick Mancuso get pissed off and then get pissed off some more? Lassie, you've come to the right place. Mother Lode is a typical backwoods baddies flick that can't decide whether it wants to be a rough and tumble survival adventure or a cat and mouse type slasher horror flick. The result is that it's never as compelling as either of those, the suspense and scares suffer greatly at the expense of poor pacing, and worse of all the leads are not very likeable. Nick Mancuso's Jean is kind of a dick and Kim Basinger's Andrea is your typical boring blond. So when they get into trouble we don't really care what happens to them.

The few high points:
1) There's a hilarious plane crash during a water landing that looked too real to be planned (turns out it was!).
2) Charlton Heston is actually pretty darn scary and menacing as Silas McGee even if we can't understand what the hell he is saying.
3) The scares are unexpected and very effective which gave it that slasher feel at times.

Bottom line:
Mother Lode is bottom shelf backwoods baddies fair (see Southern Comfort, Deliverance, etc to see how it's done right) that's only worth seeing for Charlton Heston, playing such an awesomely effective villain. Now stay outta my mine!!!

Funny Farm remains somewhat of a forgotten 80's Chevy Chase flick, mainly due to its odd mix of slapstick comedy and straight-faced approach to marital problems. It also belongs to that beloved Yuppies-out-of-their-element sub-genre that also includes The Money Pit, Crocodile Dundee, Romancing The Stone, and countless others. Today, we would refer to the woes depicted in these movies as "First World Problems."

So Andy and Elizabeth are your typical Yuppie couple who move out to the country so Andy can focus on writing his novel. Classic Chevy Chase bits abound (more like Chevy Chaplin!), such as hitting his nuts on a door knob, fishing a huge snake out of a pond, or attempting to knock a guy out to remove the fishing hook from his neck. The timing of the bits along with Chevy's signature aloof reactions really remind us what a great talent he once was.

But then in the third act, the film takes a serious turn when the Farmer's relationship deteriorates causing Elizabeth to want a divorce. Now this could have been played up for comedic effect (see The Money Pit), but instead it goes to a dark place that almost cancels all the laughs earned in the first half.

Luckily the final act brings things back to focus, as the townsfolk all come together to help sell the Farmer home to another typical Yuppie couple. The lengths they go to sell the house (in hopes of earning some cash) including an Xmas Winter Wonderland makes for a rewarding finale.

While Funny Farm is definitely not up there on the list of Chevy Chase classics (i.e., Christmas Vacation, Three Amigos, Spies Like Us, Fletch, etc) it still offers some great signature gags that we love the man for, and for that I think it's worth checking out.

Guillermo del Toro returns to his roots (see The Devil's Backbone) to tell a colorful, frightening, and bloody ghost story. But as was the case with The Devil's Backbone, the ghosts are merely a side note, a tool to solve a much darker mystery. And with that, the film gives us so much more than a simple ghost story. It's more of a gothic horror, an adult fairy tale of sorts. Tom Hiddleston and a brilliantly against type Jessica Chastain are the aforementioned fairy tale Hansel and Gretal. Mysterious, sinister, conflicted, the slow burn of their relationship and past is the real heart of the story.

After the brutal murder of her father, a young writer (played with impeccable subtlety by Mia Wasikowska) is whisked away to a grotesque mansion by Hiddleston and Chastain where she soon learns their dark past and true intentions. The house is like a decaying body, a nightmare funhouse, as cozy and decadent as it is surreal and treacherous. It provides the perfect setting for the films white-knuckled second half as the cold and snow enhance the ultimate climax.

The film is a real treat for fans of vintage Euro-style horror. A wild pastiche of Mario Bava colors, Dario Argento violence, and touches of Jean Rollin and Stanley Kubrick atmosphere. Bottom line: it's a great atmospheric period story punctuated by some real wtf scares and violence.

AKA BURNING PARADISE ~ This movie is absolute bonkers, seek it out and relish in its awesome martial arts wackiness. It's kind of like if William Lustig directed a martial arts remake of Temple of Doom with Mario Bava on set design. Within the first five minutes a man is sliced in half leaving his lower half geysering blood while still riding a horse and then a horse is accidentally decapitated by a flying guillotine-esque weapon, now that's how you start a movie! From then on its a wild ride into hell, with the valiant Fong Sai-Yuk leading you through the darkness. The temple is creepy as hell, making you feel at times like you are watching a horror film. The fight scenes are excellent, very creative use of weapons and sets. The drawbacks are mainly the poor dubbing job, the English dub sounds like it was recorded on an old beat up tape recorder and worst of all it's not complete. Some misplaced attempts at silly humor also put a damper on things. But it's a great concept and a nice change of pace from your typical martial arts outing. Definitely for fans who like their Wu Xia served up grim and bloody. Ringo Lam went balls to the wall on this one, and for that I think it's worth recommending.

Class of 1984 gets a reboot and the result is probably one of the most powerful films ever made about teachers and students. It represents that time period in the late 90's when filmmakers scorched the screen with style and bravura. In this case, Kevin Reynolds creates such a distinct atmosphere from the camera filters, soft focus shots, experimental techniques, and of course the amazing trip-hop soundtrack. It's a real feast for the eyes and ears, while maintaining a very tangible world with real issues at play. The message is profound, the themes and images will stay with you. The centerpiece to all of this is Samuel L. Jackson in one of his most underrated performances. The rest of the cast lends great support, especially Clifton Collins Jr. as the menacing Cesar. Highly recommended for fans of 90's stylized cinema, LA Neo-Noir, and violent teacher/student flicks.

You really have to appreciate Cyborg for the fact that it knows exactly what it is and never attempts to be more than that. It is very comfortable in its own B-movie skin which gives it a certain level of charm. This is a Canon film through and through, complete with awkward line delivery, gratuitous violence and nudity, and action scenes that spit in the face of logic. It ranks among Van Damme's best alongside Bloodsport and Hard Target. Here he's dirtied up, rocking a blowout, and mumbling his way through the English language. Van Damme plays Gibson, a Slinger which is sort of like a bodyguard-for-hire who is recruited by a cyborg to get her to Atlanta where they can develop the cure for the plague. She is being pursued by a rag tag group of Pirates lead by the fearsome Fender, who talks like a surfer Andre the Giant and likes to intimidate people with his florescent blue eyes. I haven't seen eyes this menacing since The Eyes Of Laura Mars. The whole movie is basically a long cat and mouse chase from New York to Atlanta in about the same time it took The Warriors to get from the Bronx to Coney Island. Van Damme doing what he does best here, playing the troubled loner and demonstrating both his body and his martial arts skills with gusto. You gotta love that showdown at the end between Gibs and Fender, there's more yelling than fighting! Yeeeeaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah! It's silly, it's wacky, it's Canon. I LIKE THIS WOOOORRRLLD!!!

I had high hopes for Vigilante given its cult status and yet I didn't enjoy it nearly as much as I thought I would. Its biggest flaw is that the muddled plot gives way to long stretches of scenes in between the action that really creates some serious pacing issues. Plus Fred Williamson steals every scene he is in, which normally would be a good thing but he's virtually absent in certain parts leaving you hungry for more. He's got a twinkle in his eye, enjoying the violence way too much, and chewing the hell out of each scene like that day old cigar in his mouth. Just the way I like my Fred Williamson served. Aside from Williamson, the rest of the cast is not very compelling or interesting. Robert Forster is his usual cardboard self, Willie Colon plays one of the least intimidating villains I've ever seen in a movie (his demise is also a big letdown), even Joe Spinell is wasted as a sleazy attorney. Most of the praise I've heard for the film is based on the extreme and brutal violence, which it has in spades but in that respect it's no different from 90's era Steven Seagal flicks. The one area the film deserves praise is the gritty, sans-permits on location shooting on the streets of NYC creating a grimey (borderline sleazy) atmosphere. A trademark that Lustig is known for. I can only recommend this for fans of Williamson and gritty NYC flicks, come to think of it, if they made the whole movie about Williamson as the sole vigilante it would have been so much better!

Class of 1999 is the kind of movie late night cable television in the late 80s/early 90s was made for. It was the kind of movie that made tweens from that era giddy with delight. Like its predecessor Class of 1984, it tackles our failed education system. But instead of taking a serious approach at social commentary, '99 throws all that out the window in favor of a big, dumb action/sci-fi extravanganza. And damn is it a lot of fun.

Class of 1999 dares to answer the questions: What if The Terminator taught high school? What if The Terminator put you across his lap and gave you one brutal ass spanking? What if someone made a movie using the leftover costumes and sets from Cyborg? Which incidentally was made using leftover costumes and sets from a failed Masters of the Universe sequel. Whew.

All you need to know about the plot is that tough as nails teen badboy Cody Culp (played by Bradley Gregg who is sort of like the poor man's Stephen Dorff) is fresh out of prison and back in high school. Only now the State of Educational Defense has created android teachers to deal with the students.

And this is where the film truly shines, the casting choices for the adults is damn near brilliant. SEE Malcolm McDowell as the concerned Principal Dr. Miles Langford. SEE Stacy Keach in a feral white mullet and wolfman contacts as head of the android program. SEE Pam Grier strut her stuff and show us her amazing bionic breasts (I'll gladly take them in any form). SEE Patrick Kilpatrick stare with an intensity that would make any student piss his pants. SEE John P. Ryan as the aforementioned brutal ass slapper.

The classroom scenes are pure B-movie enjoyment, the ensuing battle between gangs and teachers is breathtaking thanks to top notch effects (the f/x team previously worked on Die Hard and Predator!). The ending is pure mayhem with the teachers transforming into android creatures with flame thrower and rocket launcher arms. All in all it delivers great popcorn fun, makes you wish all B-movies had as much ambition and moxie!

The Gate was recently reissued on DVD as a "monstrous special edition" and featured some rather bizarre cover art. It depicts Glen down in the hole with the minions, but Glen was never down in the hole, it was actually Terry and why did they draw him in cargo shorts with hiking sandals? Did the artist even watch the movie? On the plus side, it features a nice widescreen transfer and some interesting interviews with the crew. Would have been nice to see some updated interviews with the cast, but still a good DVD to have in the collection.

Like most children of the 80's, The Gate stands as a somewhat cult classic of horror owing in part to some extreme scares and amazing creature f/x. Writer Michael Nankin explains in an interview how he was in a very dark place when he wrote the film, initially conceiving it as a harsh adult horror film. Eventually he made the story about a group of kids, but kept all the horror elements from the original story. The result is something similar to Poltergeist, where a pleasant day in suburbia slowly turns into a nightmare. Little by little, strange things begin to happen and every time there is a pause of relief something worse is brewing.

What makes The Gate a near classic of 80's spooky horror is that it taps into real childhood fears and imagination. The ominous hole in the backyard, heavy metal music and the occult, terrifying insects/creatures, urban legend myths (construction worker buried in a wall), and of course parents not being around to save the day. The child actors are believable and likeable, which puts you right there with them. For me, The Gate represents that magical time in the 80's when filmmakers pulled no punches and gave us the kind of movies that were perfect for late night sleepovers.